heavy

I write with a heavy heart...
i cant keep faking a smile when really its just tears that wants to pour down.
My eyes are all tearing up, my heart feels like its breaking.
i cant keep pretending everything is fine when its not, i cant keep being so strong.
i want to be a little child again that can just run to her mom for hugs and kisses when i hurt,
But i cant. I have to be strong even do im hurting, sad and lost.
I cant bring more negativ stuff, its already to much...
I just want to cry but if i start my not be able to stop. im sad, im really sad yet i pretendend to have a smile on my face cuz no one likes a sad person. thats a weak person apperntly. or atleast what ive been taught.
I hide my real feelings and in the end i cant tell what feeling is real and what is not.
I cant really breath, my mind is spinning like crazy with thoughts.
i want to die yet i want to be alive.
im half alive but i feel mostly dead.
i cant really sleep at night, to much in my head, scared of what my happen and so.
im faking a smile just to make someone else happy,
im listening to them thinking they might here me out,
i cheer them up hoping someone will cheer me up to.
but when i try to tell my story, either everyones busy with there stuff or they arent there anymore.
i cant tell what from what, im sad and im not aloud to be sad, i have to be happy, make everyone else happy and say everythings gona be alright even do i dont belive it will.
im gona try to get some sleep now, had to write some feelings of my head. cya later. chu!

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Postat av: Emma

<3

2011-08-28 @ 20:52:44
URL: http://everythingyousee.blogg.se/

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